Sunday, January 8, 2012

MWF Seeking BFF: My Yearlong Search for a New Best Friend

MWF Seeking BFF: My Yearlong Search for a New Best FriendMWF Seeking BFF: My Yearlong Search for a New Best Friend by Rachel Bertsche
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I saw this in the Movers and Shakers for December and decided it sounded somewhat interesting so I placed a hold on it at my library.

Right off the bat I thought who in their right mind is that desperate for a BFF? Who would, excuse the term, prostitute themself out like that?! Further in I realized it wasn't so much about an obsession of finding a BFF as much as it was research with a wonderful benefit of finding potential BFF in a "newish" city.

Rachel Bertsche moved to Chicago with her husband because neither wanted to live in each other’s respective hometowns. They settled in Chicago and Rachel left behind life time BFF's a.k.a "lifers" back where she grew up. In Chicago she wanted to find new local BFF's that she could call on a whim to do lunch, call after a fight with her new husband or to watch the newest episode of Modern Family all with comfortable silence; no awkward pauses included.

After 52 friend-dates Rachel doesn't have a BFF but a slew of close friends, acquaintances and great stories that will last her a lifetime no doubt. She realizes that her childhood lifers just happened no hard work needed. As an adult you have to work a lot harder. Following through on the "we should get together" that so many of us women never do! Rachel makes it happen, sometimes with success other times it is not reciprocated. Her story of each of her dates is anywhere from an amazing amazing connection to downright awkward and everything in between.

I liked this book because I'm in the same boat in a way. I'm horrible at following through on "we should get together". I'm also guilty of letting friends fall off my radar and not taking the initiative to keep in touch. I realize that some friends need me to do the heavy work, well, actually, it seems like most of my friends need me to do the heavy lifting. It can be frustrating but really, it's worth it. When I do go out with friends, I'm glad I made the extra effort to make it happen. Most of my friends are working moms; it's hard to schedule get-togethers when our schedules are so full. I've learned to not give up! I know that a lot of us are in the same boat and when I do schedule something I always get an instant "yes! That would be great!".
Another eye opener for me is my potential-friend avoidance. I find it easier to ignore someone or look the other way when I could be missing out on a great friend even if only a great story. Rachel discovered while she whined about not having any friends in Chicago it all changed when she started her quest. It seemed something opened up in her that perfect strangers were drawn to. People started initiating conversations. Pretty interesting I think!

I have not read any other reviews but from the overall rating, I'm guessing some people didn’t' like this book. I would imagine some people thought she was a desperate woman who had to have a lot of friends to feel fulfillment in her life. Sure it seemed like that in the beginning but by the end Rachel learned so much not only about "friendshipology" but a ton about herself. It was a great adventure and glad I was along for the ride.

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